Thursday, December 24, 2009

The President Does Not Want To "Pat himself on the back" But Will You?

Mr. President does not want to "Pat himself on the back" but he is a God!
Not to toot his own horn but he thinks that he has done good. Obama thinks that he has accomplished more than anyone could have expected.
I could not agree more! His rap sheet is getting longer and longer...
Take a look back at 2009.
President Barack Obama has...
Set terrorists free
Given tons of money to palestinian authorities ( they love us)
Motioned a faulty healthcare plan ( hardworking Americans don't need their money anyways)
Deployed more troops to Iraq...( Grade A way to end the war )
There is more but it might go to his head.
Obama has got it! He works quickly and efficiently.
Elegantly, if I may say so myself. At the drop of a hat he is there to raise America into the new age. Nurture it into a better, stronger, country. One that will not need to tip its hat to China. One that can take down the enemies. One that can end a war... or prolong it. One that does not need to answer questions.
Mr. President is molding the country into the Chuck Norris of all Countries.
Into America the Great!
Waiting for the history books to Pat him on the back!
To toot that horn.
To show why he deserved that Noble Piece Prize so early in the game.
President Obama, you are the man!!

Out for now,

Sunday, November 8, 2009

We Have Found Ourselves an Expert


In America we work for our rewards God Dammit!!
Now that Obama, leader of the American people, has already received a reward for doing absolutely nothing ( wait did I say that?) it is time for him to set an example and get a move on it.
The American president is facing a tough issue now: What to do in Afghanistan?
His liberal political leanings should be pushing him to end the war.
Sure Obama said he was going to end the war. However, the American people should know better. Politicians lie!!!
So now what? Talk of Obama sending more troops to Afghanistan has been spreading. Will the Democratic President ship out more of our troops?
He sure as hell doesn't know.
Thankfully, there is someone out there who has brilliant advice.
Mikhail Gorbachev, the former president of the Soviet Union said that Obama should start trying to end the war in Afghanistan.
Really Mikhail Gorbachev?
This here is a smart man. Very insightful.
He went on to say [ according to CNN Political Ticker ]"I think that what’s needed is not additional forces."
So let me get this straight. What Gorbachev is saying is that Obama should not send more troops in and try to end the war.
Wow if only he was writing the Presidents speeches.
I think that Mikhail Gorbachev is onto something.
Come on President Obama, end the war God dammit !!

Thank you Gorbachev for being such a sage.
Your wisdom and helpfulness is greatly appreciated.

Out for now,

Saturday, October 3, 2009

What Else Does Mr. President Have In His Pockets, eh?

I have often wondered what President Obama carries in his pockets. I assume Bush carried a dictionary. Clinton carried his little black book. But what about President Barack Obama? I wonder what we would find if we turned his pockets out?
Well we would find revelations of a nuclear plant in Iran (of course).Goly!
Apparently such an item was keeping the President's pocket warm. He conveniently did not present this information to the 14 heads of state at the Security Council meeting. That makes sense right? Not presenting, possibly threatening, information to the SECURITY council. Do not alarm the SECURITY council. Leaking information about hostile countries having nuclear facilities might interfere with the SECURITY councils effort to SECURE things.
President Obama was being smart! He knew not to let SECURITY people know of danger.
The President did, however, forget that the French President Sarkozy knew of the secrets in Obama's suit.
You can not trust the French with information! Remember the case with the bordereau?? Dreyfus. Ring any bells???
Obama should have went against his better judgment and presented the information at the meeting, before France got on his chain.
France caught up with him! The Darn French.
The explosive Information was revealed at the G-20 summit.
Obama, was simply waiting for the right moment. Something had to be said.
In the words of the President "
it is clearly not for peaceful purposes" ( Referring to the Iranian nuclear site). No Duh!! Mr. President, sir.

Out for now,

Sunday, August 30, 2009

Convicts Benifit (s)

The American government has screwed up bad. They accidentally sent 3900 prisoners $250 bailout checks ( Bail-out, ironic isn't it). When only1700 were eligible. But, of course the convicts who received that check accidentally are going to give it back. That money will be returned to its rightful owners. No problem.

Upon other news, stimulus checks have been serving quite a purpose recently. The police department has been using $250 dollar checks to lure in wanted felons. The plan is genius. Wanted man numero uno gets a letter telling him to come down to so and so place to collect a $250 check, he shows up and gets a little more then he anticipated...handcuffs. What a good system. Finally, someone is doing something right. Surely, broadcasting the scam on national television won't stop these wanted men from coming to collect their checks. Money is money. Of course the felons would not think that they would be scammed twice, after everyone knows about it. After all, fool me once shame on me, fool me twice shame on you.

Out for now,

Thursday, August 27, 2009

The Admiral Speaks !!!!! ( That's all I got )

Admiral Mullen believes that America needs to "worry a lot less about how to communicate our actions and much more about what our actions communicate"
Admiral say what?

What exactly does the Admiral think our actions are communicating? That we do not like terrorists, or that we do not like fighting a war overseas?
Wait, isn't that EXACTLY what our actions are supposed to communicate.
We will not, I repeat we will not stand for terrorists, terrorizing America and we will not allow people to know that we do not like fighting wars in middle eastern countries!

Admiral Mullen was not finished. He went on to say "Each time we fail to live up to our values or don’t follow up on a promise, we look more and more like the arrogant Americans the enemy claims we are.”
What are American values?
I will leave that to someone else.

But poor Obama. He worked so hard to make sure that the middle eastern countries did not think that Americans were a bunch of arrogant pricks.
Spoiler Alert: IT DIDN'T WORK! America is STILL at war with Iraq and Afghanistan. ( Newsflash) Apparently the American people were too quick to praise the presidents speech in Egypt on June 4th. ( Wow, Americans, to quick to praise. That's new.)

Not to mention that the missiles aimed towards Al Queda and the Taliban, in Pakistan, hit innocent civilians. Can you believe it, the missiles, they missed the targets and landed right on their shields ( I think these are the actions Admiral Mullen was talking about).

The Admiral believes that our actions are not saying the right things about us. They are not showing the real good ol' American values. He finishes off by saying "“We shouldn’t care if people don’t like us. That isn’t the goal. The goal is credibility. And we earn that over time.” Wait a second, if people are not supposed to like us, then I think that our actions are doing just fine. They are out there speaking for themselves. Hate words. Shouldn't that be perfection for Admiral Mullen?

“It’s not about telling our story,” said the Admiral “We must also be better listeners.”

I knew there was a moral in here somewhere. He wants us to LISTEN. Our actions should not make or break things, they should listen to things. Like Al Queda and Taliban terrorists. Everyone needs to be listened to now and again.

Out for now,


Wednesday, August 26, 2009

President Obama has Entered the Vineyard

Sources say that President Barack Obama has chosen to take a week long vacation to Martha’s Vineyard. The overworked president has chosen to up and leave while the political situation in this country is anything but calm.

I can imagine that the American people are very upset by this in-prompt-to getaway. There is a frenzy going on about the Obama’s Health care plan. The country is in turmoil over this. They need their president ( who else will they lash out on ?).

But wait, President Obama has not abandoned his people in time of need. Obama knows that the best way to calm down his people is to listen to a Maverick. He is taking the advice of his 2008 opponent, John McCain, and gone in search for Ted Kennedy’s wisdom. You see people, President Obama is not running away from the problem, he is removing himself so that it can be fixed. Can we fix it? Yes we can !!

Or maybe not.

Ted Kennedy's death on the eve of August 25th took the nation by surprise. Obama's $35,000 - $50,000 dollar apartment just won't be the same without Senator Ted Kennedy's help on the horizon. What will he do now? Does John McCain have any other advice to solve this health care fiasco?

Out for now,


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Welcome to my Satirical World

I was sitting in my room indulging myself in some satirical writing when it dawned on me. I could create my own blog devoted to Satire. So here I am. 'Say Hello To My Little...Blog' is here to entertain you through satire. ( Mostly Political ) I hope you enjoy reading my blog as much as I will enjoy writing it.

Out for now,